How We Got Here (Emily Had Another Beauty Blackout)
It's only been two weeks since the official launch of Pat McGrath's (limited edition) lip collection for this year's holiday season. However, since hype has a way of dragging everything out - as does FedEx's shipping process - you'd be forgiven for thinking it's been quite a bit longer. Truthfully, I wasn't at all excited for the launch. I'd tuned in on Instagram for the live reveal at the end of October and - not gonna lie - it left me feeling...deflated. Liquid lipsticks? Really? And a return to the DIY kits?? Look, I'm not a DIY person. I'm more like a DIFM person (DIFM = 'do it for me'. Coined it myself) As for liquid lipstick, what is there NOT to dislike? There's the lip-gloss style packaging (bullets feel so much classier - don't you agree?); the drying factor (of course, the extent varies but no one ever calls a liquid lipstick hydrating); and then there's the simple fact that the trend simply feels....rather passé. We've been inundated with liquid lipstick launches over the past few years. Was another one really necessary?
Given all the above, it should come as no surprise that I was a firm 'no' on Pat McGrath's liquid lipsticks from the get-go. Even more so after I found out that most of the kits contained jars of glitter plus a tube of 'clear vinyl gloss". Great. Glitter and gloss. Two things starting with G that I utterly despise. The remaining kits in the collection included a tube of murky looking 'astral' metallic highlighter, which I immediately decided to refer to as KY jelly. (I mean, look at it....right? KY jelly.)
Part of being a beauty blogger, I've learned (and it's only been a month, believe it or not), is that it involves ‘fessing up to moments of weakness, recklessness and fickle stupidity. Because guess who ended up buying ALL of Pat McGrath's LiquiLUST 007 kits? That's right - ME. (My friends, by the way, expressed zero suprise. "Lol, knew it." "Yeah lol I guessed.") Now, this would be embarrassing but I've decided I’m going to go with the 'isn't it cool how well my friends know me?' line of interpretation instead. Isn't it cool though? So cool, right? I mean, I guess we’re just really tight.
Notice I used the plural ('kits' rather than just the 'Everything Kit'). If I had bought the ‘Everything Kit’, my actions would be a little more defensible, I suppose. One reckless ‘add to cart’ click can be explained away. But that wasn't how it happened. Less than 24 hours after ordering the first half of the collection, I went back and ordered the rest of it. Before my first order had even shipped. Why did I do that? Um….well, I got a marketing email. And so I did what one does in such situations and clicked immediately on "SHOP NOW!!" Readers, that hyperlink led me straight out of my inbox and right onto Pat McGrath’s website.
*Should my new year's resolution be to kick this habit? Any bets on how long I'll last? Do you even want me to kick it, from a reader’s point of view? (Comment below!)
The LiquiLUST 007 Duo in Deceit
The focus of today’s’ review will be the Deceit Duo because guess what? My second order shipped before my first order did (I know, I'm also confused). My first order naturally contained the two kits with the ‘safe’ a.k.a. nude shades. So I really got thrown in the deep end here. As for my choice of the Deceit Duo over the Colour Blitz Kit, let’s just say I’m a little overwhelmed with all these sequins and so starting small seems like the wisest idea.
To my relief, Pat (she commented* on my Instagram, k? We're obvs on a first name basis!) had thoughtfully included an instruction manual nestled amidst the sequins inside the kit. I do know how to apply liquid lipstick, btw. I'm just saying that the tube of KY Jelly/'Gold Astral Vinyl Gloss' was a bit of a mystery to me.
As it turned out, the gist of the instructions can be summed up in one of the few phrases in the manual not peppered with adjectives: "USE WITHOUT CAUTION." I mean, heck - technically, I'd completed that step just by clicking "Pay now" on my fourth liquid lipstick kit! Total pro over here. I scanned the warning above briefly: "Wicked willfulness and consensual corruption may result with prolonged use."
Wicked willfulness? Check! (proof: um, the credit card statement that arrives every month?) Consensual corruption? Anyone want to enlighten me on this one? Like, who exactly is my partner in corruption here? Pat McGrath? I mean, I'll take it, Pat. Regardless, 'consensual corruption' sounds like something that my life - at the moment, anyway - is sorely lacking in (no unconsensual corruption going on either, btw).
As it turned out, there was no need to worry about my possible imminent corruption - since 'prolonged use' was a prerequisite, my soul couldn't be in any great peril. When it comes to lipsticks, I am extremely unfaithful (makeup in general really). I move onto the next thing in the mere blink of an eye. The only thing that I make 'prolonged use' out of is the expedited shipping option offered by the good folks at FedEx and DHL!
*tag Pat in any of your haul photos on Instagram and chances are you'll get a few ❤️❤️❤️ from her too. I'm not that special is what I'm saying.
Deceit Liquid Lipstick
In the tube, this looks like a deep red burgundy. An aubergine perhaps at certain angles. If you’ve read the Beauty Blackout’s multi-part reviews of the LuxeTrance lipsticks (still a work in progress, btw - yes, I bought more), then you’ll know that the colours in that range run dark. I have tried precisely one of the Liquilust lipsticks, but I’m gonna just throw caution to the wind and say that the same applies to this range.
I was determined to follow Pat’s instructions to a T but the lofty language was, at times, intimidating:
“Coat your lips with hedonistic hues for a chromatic climax of beautifully rich colour.”
Just wanted to interject at this point to express my satisfaction that Pat utilises the correct spelling of ’colour’ throughout. Her refusal to bend to the strange spelling quirks of her (undoubtedly large) US market endears a woman who I already consider a genius even more greatly to me. Back to the instructions:
“Fill in the bottom lip using your natural lip line as a guide. Gently press lips together, then line the Cupid’s bow and move to the outer edges for a captivating canvas of outrageous opulence.”
Readers, my bottom lip doesn’t have a natural lip line. It’s not an excuse, I swear I bitch about this alot. I have a mouth that the writer of a bodice-ripping, Harlequin romance novel might describe as ‘rosebud shaped’ - it’s small and my lips are on the fuller side. (Is this what a rosebud mouth looks like? You can correct me if I’ve got it all wrong, see the comments box.) I have often been told to stop ‘pouting’ for no good reason. My resting bitch face is basically a resting pouty face. I’m rambling, I know, but how else to explain my rather...uneven application of Deceit?
Points to Pat for designing a liquid lipstick applicator that is, 100% genuinely speaking, the most precise one that I’ve used. Suck on that, Charlotte Tilbury. It’s a spongey texture and small, angled downwards in a bit of a hook shape. It does a better job at lining my lips than a traditional bullet lipstick does - maybe even better than a traditional lip liner. I know that the pictures accompanying this declaration say otherwise but….Deceit is very highly pigmented. I’m sure that the lip swatches to come will prove my point. If you haven’t noticed, I’m not the greatest lip swatcher out there but give me credit for trying and for posting the fruits of my labour for public consumption online.
One of the reasons I hate liquid lipstick is because it’s generally very drying. I have dry lips already so added dryness is both uncomfortable and unflattering. My favourite liquid lipstick formulas are Smith and Cult’s Flatte Tainted Lip Stains and, in second place, Burberry’s Liquid Lip Velvets. Pat’s is as comfortable as both of those formulas. The instruction manual promises that the “revolutionary LiquiLUST formulation leaves lips velvet-smooth”. I concur. My lips have felt very velvety and very smooth throughout the 5 hours I have now spent wearing this (I haven’t taken it off since taking the pictures and deciding to finish the rest of this review).
So, as stated, this is not a drying liquid lipstick. It makes lips feel smooth, chapped ones included. It does not accentuate dry patches. I would say it’s pretty comfortable although it is not undetectable. I’m definitely aware that I have lipstick on, although this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just isn’t weightless although since it doesn’t promise to be, I’m not going to complain. I definitely feel my lips coated in something - ’hedonistic hues’, sure. I have never considered what hues are hedonistic before but Deceit seems not out of place in that rather ambiguous category (hedonistic: ‘engaged in the pursuit of pleasure; self indulgence’….I guess that gels with my proclivity towards online shopping.)
I won’t lie. This was several shades darker than I had expected and at least a dozen shades darker than I feel comfortable wearing. My mother harboured many worries about what she feared would happen to me, which she started voicing about the time I started seventh grade. Tattoos. Piercings. Dying my hair strange colours. She had nothing to fear. I am as straight edge looking a daughter as anyone could hope for and happily so, by the way. The prospects of inking and/or piercing my skin, or colouring my hair neon blue are almost as horrifying to me as they are to my mother. No judgement, btw, if you go in for any of the former. It’s just not something for me.
I look like some sort of Goth high school student wearing Deceit. Disagree? I disagree with your disagreement. I am confident that this look screams “I WEAR HOT TOPIC! I’VE GOT A FLASK OF VODKA IN MY BAG, SHHH, I SNUCK IT FROM MY PARENTS’ LIQUOR CABINET.” I have also taken photos of myself wearing Deceit and posted them online - in my defence, I plead that I was just following Pat’s instructions to “Surrender, succumb and submit…”
Please don’t make too much fun of me.
Taking It Up A Notch with the Gloss:
I got out the tube of gloss and squeezed some out gingerly. It’s more clear than gold, although the shimmer is definitely yellow gold. Now, to address the other question you’re dying to know: how does the the Astral Vinyl Gloss compare to KY Jelly?
Strikingly similar. They share a similar, sort of slippery gel-like consistency with a smooth, shiny finish. I think I’ll leave the comparison at that for now. (Of course, remember that, unlike KY Jelly, Astral Vinyl Gloss contains shimmer so no, they are not exact dupes, if that’s what you happened to be thinking of trying.*)
Pat promises that “by applying Astral Vinyl Gloss directly onto the centre of the lips “ and “blending outwards for a luxurious three-dimensional effect”, it’s possible to “summon subconscious seduction”. I’m not so sure about this but then again, I did ignore her advice to “layer additional coats for an overdose of perversely prismatic shine.”
In my defence, the whole Astral Vinyl Gloss = KY Jelly with shimmer thing was already delivering a perverse overdose to my senses. So I admit that I dabbed and blended rather tentatively. That said, I have no doubt that the Astral Vinyl Gloss can be built up to an even more prismatic shine than you see in the picture of me below. So, to those of my readers who desire that perversely prismatic effect, layer away. You are far braver a soul than I am.
*God forbid. Ew.
P.S: So, we have more LiquiLUST Lip Kits to go. Which one should I review next? How scary do I look wearing Deceit? Or do I simply just look extremely traumatised? Let me know in the comments below!